1 Year After Posting “A Constant Pointless Sacrifice”
I’ve changed a great deal since this time last year. I am very much the same person I was then, only now I am a much healthier and stronger individual (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually). In those ways, I am very much a different person. I’m making small but meaningful steps towards personal equilibrium.
Once upon a time I was misdiagnosed by psychiatrists and labelled as suffering from a “Bipolar Type 1 Affective Disorder”. I swallowed their lie and took their pills. The quality of my life gradually and steadily deteriorated, my mind weakened and my spirit faded. But I would not be extinguished. There was still a light burning inside me, keeping me alive.
I had completely forgotten about this blog, forgot that post was still sitting up there.
I made a new friend over the past two weeks- she helped me remember that I had started this blog.
I’ve also now come across a few posts I had prepared at the time that I did not publish, including one somewhat dark poetry post.
It’s a glimpse into my not-so-distant past.
2012 came and went, and it was a truly good year to me. It was the last year on the Mayan Calendar, and it was The Year of the Dragon.
I’ve lost over thirty pounds since then. I exercise (cardio and core strengthening) at a gym two or three times a week (student rate- nice!). I spend over 25 minutes on the treadmill, running and walking. I haven’t had a cigarette since November 06, 2011. I still have vices, but I’m working on myself and making improvements here and there. I’m far from perfect, and I’m quite content with that. Nobody is perfect.
I finally freed myself of a drug called Seroquel on November 24 of last year, the completion of a withdrawal process that took well over two years (truly a great accomplishment). I’m in the process of withdrawing from other medications as well, mostly related to insomnia (which may very well have been caused or severely worsened by the Seroquel itself).
I’m in the process of freeing myself from the labels, drugs and spiritual chains that were that were truly harming me for many years.
I can actually think clearly now, and feel the true depth of my emotions. It’s not always easy- but it is ultimately rewarding beyond words.
I will now publish those old posts, because they are, as I mentioned above, a a very small glimpse into my not-so-distant past.
My new blog is http://seroquelnation.wordpress.com/